


Alter

by jeejaschocolate



Series: Change-Up [2]
Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Emotional Porn, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, canon split personality, mentions of actual disorder, now there are feels, started as PWP, sub!Ranmaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 16:14:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5170238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeejaschocolate/pseuds/jeejaschocolate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Sequel to "Switch") Ranmaru struggles to deal with what happened between him and Satsuki. After a while, Natsuki helps him work through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alter

**Author's Note:**

> So, I decided I couldn't leave it alone and had to make a series for this wonderful ship. So here is the complicated, emotional, sexy fic that came out of the last PWP. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Quick Note: I'm having trouble finding out how old Ranmaru actually is. Some sources say 17 or 18, some say 23? I don't know. Whatever. Let's just say these dudes are in their twenties, for consent reasons.

Ranmaru sat in his room idly strumming his bass guitar. He left it unplugged, as he usually did when he was practicing in his dorm room. The bass made empty sounds that barely reverberated enough to be heard, but Ranmaru could feel the vibrations in his stomach as he strummed.

The silver-haired man could vaguely recall the bass line of some old song from his band days. He plucked out the rhythm vacantly, letting his mind wander. 

It had been almost two weeks since…that time. Ranmaru was careful not to call it anything, not to draw any more attention to the subject—the images were enough. Mussed blonde hair and piercing green eyes, shaking him to his very core…an arrogant smirk drawing him in…large hands on his cock, and long, slender fingers inside…

Ranmaru twanged a chord unnecessarily out of distraction. The bass thrummed as if in dissatisfaction. 

He sighed. It was not like he found the memories of that time particularly unpleasant. Quite the opposite, obviously, he had gotten off harder than ever before. The problem started when Ranmaru realized that he had no idea how to move forward. He was not even entirely sure himself what had happened that time, how could he ever expect it to happen again?

And did he even want it to happen again? 

Ranmaru ran his fingers over the neck of his bass contemplatively. What did he want? He closed his eyes to think.

“Hmmph…” he murmured after a time. 

Ranmaru told himself he was being stupid. Who cared about some crazy underclassman? The kid obviously had some kind of problem; mental illness, something—a split personality, maybe. (Was that even a real thing? But what else could explain it?) Ranmaru reasoned with himself that he was better off just closing the book on the whole thing, letting it go as something that had happened to him one time for no reason at all. Just a random time. Who cared.  

But…He strummed the thick strings on his bass in a slow flurry. 

Honestly, Ranmaru knew what had happened that time. He had given in. That should have been embarrassing, possibly even career-ruining, and yet Ranmaru felt neither worried nor ashamed. (Alright, he felt a little ashamed, but that was the lingering shame that had been with him ever since he realized how badly he wanted to be dominated like that.) Instead, Ranmaru felt like he had achieved a small measure of peace after that time.

He opened his eyes and stared hard into the darkening room. It was turning from evening to night.

“Peace, huh?” he asked the empty space. 

But it was true. That night, after he cleaned himself up and took a shower, Ranmaru had the best sleep of his life. He woke up feeling refreshed, like he actually had energy to go through the motions of the day instead of feeling so incredibly ticked off as he usually did. During practice, Ranmaru actually found himself laughing along with some of Reiji’s jokes—which never happened before. Even Ai noticed that one. Everyone mentioned something about it, which effectively ruined Ranmaru’s fleeting good mood ever after.

Still, being with Natsuki (or Satsuki?) that time had made him feel different. Good, different. Almost…like…

Well, he could not admit what it was almost like. Too dangerous. Especially since he and Natsuki had not so much as exchanged hellos ever since it happened.

Granted, the STARISH crew ran in their own circles. Most of the time, the idols were off doing reality shows or plays or some such things to advance their careers. They barely spent time at the school other than to practice. Once Quartet Night and STARISH had accepted each other as rivals, the two groups stopped practicing together for the most part. So Ranmaru did not see the STARISH idols on a regular basis, other than time spent lounging around. Natsuki did not seem to be the lounging type. That kid was always off doing some commercial, or else he was helping one of the other idols out with their things. Natsuki was just…nice like that. Or whatever. 

They ran into each other once though, after that time. Ranmaru felt himself blush at the memory.

The silver haired man had been walking across the gardens to get to rehearsal. He normally never went that way, but that day he was especially late and just not in the mood to hear Camus bitch at him like always. Too tired for all that shit, for once.

As Ranmaru made his way across the lawn, he saw a group of STARISH members sitting in a group together. One of them, Otoya, had his guitar out but he was barely even playing it. Ranmaru scoffed at the idea of Otoya just carrying around that thing for show. There was also Ichinose and the two blonde-haired members. Ranmaru slowed down his pace as soon as he caught sight of them. It felt like his legs were moving through thick sludge, he could barely walk once he realized that it was him sitting there…

Otoya caught Ranmaru’s eye and waved politely. Syo turned around to see who his friend was waving at. 

“Tch,” Syo said immediately. He made a disgusted face. “There goes that asshole.”

Ranmaru’s heterochromatic eyes flicked across their faces as they stared at him—locking eyes with Natsuki. The tall boy smiled right away, sweetly, almost closing his eyes in the process. Then he looked Ranmaru up and down and actually…grinned at him. 

Seeing that grin, Ranmaru knew that Natsuki was thinking of when he found him naked in the practice room. What they had done after… Natsuki held him gently while Ranmaru buried his face against the younger boy’s neck. They kissed once on the lips before leaving each other. Ranmaru remembered the soft feel of Natsuki’s lips. They tasted the same as Satsuki’s, but somehow they felt so different…

Sensing what Natsuki was thinking, Ranmaru felt himself growing incredibly flushed. He spun around on his heels and stalked off in the opposite direction.

“What the hell is his problem anyway…” Syo said loudly as Ranmaru hurried off. 

Ranmaru tuned him out, forcing all of his feelings down as far as he could until he reached his dorm room. Once there, Ranmaru locked the door behind him and immediately took off his pants and underwear. At the time, he did not even question what he was doing, he just needed to get off so suddenly he could not think about anything else. 

And so, Ranmaru jerked himself off while he kneeled on the floor next to his bed. He did not even bother with lube or anything, he just pulled hard on himself, much rougher than usual. He remembered the sight of Natsuki grinning knowingly. He could imagine that kind face turned rough and demanding, forcing him to his knees… Ranmaru kneeled on all fours then in his bedroom, just like he had done for Satsuki. 

His balls twitched as he re-enacted the scene. He bit his lip hard, trying to keep himself from moaning. But all the memories came rushing back. Ranmaru could remember what Natsuki smelled like, the timbre of the younger man’s voice, how he could feel it vibrating against his body when Satsuki spoke low into his ear. As he stroked himself, Ranmaru felt like he had lost complete control of his body. He needed to come quickly so that he could get rid of the burning, insatiable ache in his core that ate him alive as he remembered that time…

Then, for the first time in his life-long experience with masturbation, Ranmaru let his free hand wander backwards, feeling up his own ass and wiggling between his cheeks like Satsuki had done. 

All it took was one strong press of his finger against his hole—barely even entering, just a light push inside of himself with the tip of his finger—and Ranmaru came hard, doubling over against the floor. His cum got everywhere, even splashed across his chin with a particularly hard jerk.

Once he was finished climaxing, Ranmaru let himself collapse on his bed. It was still the middle of the day, he had neglected to remove his collared shirt, and he had a big mess to clean up before his roommates got back. Needless to say, Ranmaru gave up going to practice that day. He needed to…realign himself. Or something.

It was only when Ranmaru looked at himself in the mirror and wiped the cum off his chin that the silver-haired man realized he had to deal with this. Seriously. He needed to do something.

But that had been about three days ago. As he sat in his bedroom, strumming his bass, Ranmaru let himself accept the fact that he still needed to do something. What little bit of peace had come from being fucked by Satsuki was gone. Now he just felt a throbbing need in its place—hell, Ranmaru had gotten a raging hard-on and been forced to get himself off in the middle of the day just from making eye contact with Natsuki. He knew what he needed.

Yet, knowing that was almost worse. How could Ranmaru even begin to ask for a time like that again—did Natsuki even know what had happened between them? Would Satsuki want to fuck him again? Would Natsuki think of Ranmaru differently if he knew…?

 “Fuck this shit,” Ranmaru grumbled, pulling at the strings on his guitar angrily. There were too many unanswered questions. If he was going to do this seriously, he would need to get more information.

At that moment, Ranmaru heard keys jingling in the door. His roommates were back, it seemed. Ranmaru slid his bass slightly lower in his lap to cover any lingering hardness that might still be there.

Masato and Ren walked into the room silently. Probably fighting again. There was always some kind of tension between those two. Ranmaru could not get away from it far enough or fast enough.

 “Good evening, Kurosaki-san,” Masato said formally as he glanced over at him. It was the blue-haired man’s usual greeting.

Ranmaru grunted in response and kept playing.

Ren smirked and sidled into his chair across the room. “Let me guess how you spent your evening, Ranmaru…”

“Shut up,” Ranmaru answered. He ignored them the rest of the night.

______________________________________________________________

 

The next day, Ranmaru decided to track down a member of STARISH who might know something about Natsuki’s…switch in personality. That was easier said than done, though, considering the busy schedule that band kept. Not to mention the fact that most of the members had stopped talking to him altogether since his outburst at rehearsal that started this whole thing. (Of course, Ranmaru had apologized to Haruka like he promised Satsuki he would. The silver-haired man did it in private so only Haruka knew about it—and he made her swear that the incident would stay between them.)

Really, the only one who still bothered with the niceties was Otoya—and even then, Otoya would not hesitate to give Ranmaru the cold shoulder immediately after nodding or waving politely. In all honesty, Ranmaru could not stand the red-head or his sorry guitar playing. He considered Otoya a wannabe at best, with the regurgitated pop sound that fueled all his solo songs.

The following afternoon, Ranmaru found Otoya practicing his guitar on the veranda that overlooked the garden. It sounded like a new tune. Luckily, that meant Otoya was alone for once.

Walking up behind him, trying to look casual, Ranmaru scratched the back of his neck with a grimace. He would have to act nice to this guy if he wanted anything out of him. 

Jamming his hands in his pockets, Ranmaru called out, “Nice sound.” (Total lie.)

Otoya spun around, slightly startled. “Oh, uh…thanks?” he said confusedly.

“Yeah.” Ranmaru went and stood next to him. “You’re uh…not bad. I guess.”  

“Um, ok.” Otoya looked perplexed at having to actually talk to Ranmaru. Normally, the older man never started a conversation. “Was there…something you wanted?” 

Ranmaru shrugged and looked out into the garden. He was quiet for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts. Coincidentally, he saw a figure sitting in the garden, leaning against a big tree. Of course it was Natsuki, petting a small furry creature and giggling contentedly. Ranmaru cringed as his heart leapt. Why did it have to be this kid, the crazy, goofy one, who did this to him?

But finding him there was a good segue at least. 

“Listen…” Ranmaru started. “You know Natsuki right?” 

“Yeah, of course. We’ve been friends for years.” Otoya started strumming his guitar quietly, trying to draw attention away from the conversation.

“Right. So is…Natsuki ever…” Ranmaru rubbed the back of his neck again. He watched the blonde-haired man in question rub his face against a flower happily. “…different, kind of?”

Otoya stopped strumming immediately. He looked up at Ranmaru with a wary look. “What do you mean, ‘different’?”

“I don’t know.” Ranmaru shrugged again. “I saw him the other day coming back from a shoot and he just looked…different. Like, with a weird look on his face. Almost…mean, I guess.” The bassist cringed as he resorted to using that word to describe Satsuki.

Otoya’s face turned dark. “Was Natsuki wearing his glasses when you saw him?”

Ah. “No, actually, now that you mention it…”

The red-head sighed. “Damn it,” he whispered under his breath. He put his guitar down next to him on the ground.“I thought we had gotten rid of that guy… Well, I’m glad you told me, at least.”

“Mind telling me what the hell you’re talking about?” Ranmaru barked at him.

Otoya sighed again. He rested his elbows on knees and said, “Fine. You might want to sit down though.”

Ranmaru flinched for a moment, hating an offer of close proximity. But it looked like he had no choice. Silently, the silver-haired man went and sat down next to Otoya on the bench.

“Natsuki’s a great guy. Don’t get me wrong. He’s probably the most kind-hearted out of all of us, even if he can be…weird, sometimes.” Otoya seemed embarrassed to admit that.

Ranmaru scoffed. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“Yeah…” Otoya continued. “But there’s…another side to Natsuki. It’s like, there’s this whole other personality inside of him. It’s just…really rare.”

At least someone else knew about this! Ranmaru’s heart raced. But he played it cool. “A split personality? Is that really what you’re trying to tell me?”

Otoya shrugged. “Believe whatever you want. It only comes out when Natsuki takes his glasses off. It…calls itself Satsuki.”

Finally, the truth. Ranmaru wanted to sigh in relief, but something about the way Otoya said that ticked him off. “Why are you calling his other personality an ‘it’?”

“Because, honestly…Satsuki is kind of a monster. That guy has hurt people—a lot of people. The one and only time I met Satsuki we all tried to take him down and instead Satsuki wound up kicking our asses.”

Ranmaru grunted a quiet laugh. He would have paid so much money to see that.

“It’s not funny, it’s actually scary as hell! And pretty dangerous.” Otoya shook his head at the memory. “The only person Satsuki listens to is Haruka. She talked to him that time and convinced him that Natsuki is okay on his own. We all thought that Satsuki had just kind of…disappeared after that, but if you saw him the other day, then I guess…not.”

“Is it a big problem?” Ranmaru asked, truly curious.

“Who knows?” Otoya shrugged again. “Syo knows Satsuki the best. He told us all about it. Apparently Satsuki only comes out when Natsuki is in some kind of pain, or trouble. He calls himself Natsuki’s protector. But in reality he’s just…messed up. Super strong, too.”

Ranmaru believed every word. He had seen it for himself. “You know all of this sounds totally crazy, right?”

“Dude, I know, but look it up! Dissociative identity disorder is a thing!”

“Alright, alright.” Ranmaru raised his hands in surrender. He was surprised Otoya felt so strongly. Apparently he really did not want his friend to look bad. Ranmaru kind of respected that. 

“But,” he asked. “What does Natsuki know about all this?”

“Well, Natsuki doesn’t remember anything that happens when he’s Satsuki.”

 Ranmaru’s heart sank. He looked into the garden to watch Natsuki walking back to his dorm with an armful of flowers. 

 "But that’s probably a good thing,” Otoya continued. “Considering all the terrible things Satsuki does. He’s put people in the hospital, man, and one time he even flipped a car!”

“I get it,” Ranmaru replied tersely. “So what do you want to do?”

“There’s not much we can do. Natsuki doesn’t even know that Satsuki exists. I guess we just have to keep supporting Natsuki in his career so that eventually Satsuki won’t need to exist.”

“Fine. You do that.” Ranmaru stood up to leave.

Otoya sighed. “Just…tell me if you see Satsuki again, alright? And don’t get too close to him.”

Ranmaru raised his hand in recognition and walked away. He had no desire to continue this conversation. As it was, he felt a sharp pain in his chest, somewhere right near his heart.

He thought about Natsuki strolling through the garden, unhurried, not worried in the slightest.. Did the kid really…not remember what had happened between him and Ranmaru? The best, most intense sexual experience of Ranmaru’s life and Natsuki had just…forgotten?

______________________________________________________________________

 It took another week before Ranmaru made any decisions. He tried to just shut himself off, forget about everything, remove himself from the problem—like he did with most social situations. In all truth, Ranmaru had never…had feelings for anyone. He’d been in “relationships” with women, fangirls or whatever. But he had not felt anything for them. It was all mostly for show. 

With Natsuki it was different. He wanted Natsuki to pay attention to him. He wanted to see Satsuki again, even if he had been warned by Otoya to stay away. 

Something had happened to him that time, whatever it was. And now, he wanted…no, he needed to see where this could go. 

So, one night, he gathered all his courage (which, for Ranmaru, meant taking a quick shot of vodka before he left his dorm, and spending about ten minutes on the roof smoking a long cigarette). He decided to find Natsuki and just ask him straight up: What the hell were they supposed to do now? Because Ranmaru was ready to admit he had never felt this way before.

He went to Natsuki’s dorm first. After getting an earful from Syo, he figured out that Natsuki had left with his viola hours ago. He flipped Syo off indifferently and headed in the direction of the practice rooms. Ranmaru told himself he was not nervous in the slightest—even though he could feel his palms sweating in his pockets. 

The practice rooms had muffled acoustics to help the musicians concentrate even if they might be practicing in adjacent rooms. Ranmaru could hear piano music coming from a room, a complicated tune that rang of Masato. A few rooms down, Ranmaru heard soft string music, too low to be a violin but too high for a cello. He knew that it had to be Natsuki on his viola. 

The tune was sweet and simple, with many long held notes to draw out the tension of the song. The sound reminded Ranmaru of his classical training years ago. Like something out of the Impressionist era. A heartfelt melody that smacked of longing and prolonged pleasure.

Ranmaru walked into the practice room without knocking. He saw the taller, blonde man playing his instrument with his eyes closed. Without the sound muffled, Ranmaru could make out the sultry timbre of this violist’s vibrato—something he had never quite heard before.

Even without looking closely, Ranmaru could tell this was Satsuki. He knew even before he noticed that the man was not wearing glasses. 

Satsuki’s hair fell around his face and eyes. The collar of his shirt was slightly open and his tie had been pulled down past the gap. Ranmaru could clearly see the outline of Satsuki’s collarbone against the creamy skin there. He swallowed hard and remained quiet as he listened to the rest of the piece. The song ended after a double stringed note, held over about ten seconds. Ranmaru felt like the note struck something within him, especially seeing Satsuki absorbed in his music like that. 

Taking his bow off the strings, Satsuki opened his eyes and looked directly at Ranmaru. Clearly he had known the other man was there. Seeing those green eyes fix him with a stare, Ranmaru felt his pulse quicken. He was glued to the spot.

Satsuki smirked. “Well, look who it is.”

Saying only that, the blonde man wrote a few notes down on the composition paper laying open on the stand. It seemed he was composing. Ranmaru reflected for a moment and realized that Satsuki must have been the better composer out of the two personalities, if he was writing music like that.

They stood in silence for several minutes as Satsuki began packing up his viola, taking time to rub resin on the bow and wipe any fingerprints off the body with a clean rag. Ranmaru did not know what to say. He could not believe he had found Satsuki first. 

“I’m not going to ask why you’re here,” Satsuki said after a while, placing the viola carefully in its case. “I assume it has something to do with Natsuki.”

“Uh…” Ranmaru began, swallowing hard. “…kind of.”

Satsuki looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Getting no explanation, the younger man put his hands on his hips and took a good look at Ranmaru, eyeing him up and down. Ranmaru closed his eyes against the obvious scrutiny, angry at the way his cock had already twitched to life.

“Well. If it’s not about Natsuki, then it must be about me.” Satsuki grinned fully. “Was there something you wanted, Ranmaru?”

“I…I think you know what I want.” Ranmaru crossed his arms, trying to stand his ground.

Satsuki threw his head back and laughed, a cold, rough laugh. When he was finished, he fixed Ranmaru with another smug stare. “Yeah, I do,” the man replied.

With that, Satsuki slowly crossed the distance between them to stand directly in front of him, as he had done the last time. Ranmaru quivered as he felt the weight of Satsuki’s presence. He had imagined this so many times…he wanted to collapse against the strong body in front of him, let the man take him. He wanted Satsuki to force him to his knees and tell him to suck him off. Ranmaru would do it—gladly.

But Satsuki did none of those things. Instead, he raised his hand and gently stroked the side of Ranmaru’s face. The silver-haired man leaned into the touch, breathing slowly.

“I’m glad you could finally admit what you wanted,” Satsuki said quietly. “And you came here on your own. Very nice.” Satsuki petted his face in approval. “So sweet.”

Ranmaru stared at Satsuki, wanting to lean forward and kiss him. But he did not. There was still the slight element of danger that emanated from the younger man, as Satsuki. Ranmaru knew he needed to wait until he was asked to touch. 

“I’d be happy to give you what you want,” Satsuki drawled. “But, I think Natsuki would like to talk to you.”

Ranmaru was shocked. “What?” he asked.

Satsuki nodded. “Yeah. Natsuki has been…preoccupied with you. He has things he wants to say to you. So, in that case, I need to tell you something.”

Without any warning, Satsuki reached down and grabbed a fistful of Ranmaru’s cock and balls, squeezing them tightly. Ranmaru yelped, trying to pull away. It hurt more than he cared to admit.

“What the hell…” the silver-haired man grunted out, through gritted teeth.

Satsuki leaned in to whisper in Ranmaru’s ear. “Let me just say,” he cooed, a counterbalance to the brutally tight grip he had on Ranmaru’s genitals. “If you hurt Natsuki, in any way, at all, even slightly….I will rip these off and shove them down your throat.” 

He punctuated the threat with one last hard squeeze and a bite on Ranmaru’s earlobe. The older man cried out and futilely pushed against Satsuki’s shoulders.  

As soon as it started, it was over. Satsuki suddenly let go and turned around to walk over to the piano. He picked up the glasses that rested on the bench. Ranmaru panted and fell backwards, cupping his dick gently. As much as he hated to admit it, and as much as he felt pretty violated after that blatant threat, he was now even more turned on. His dick throbbed and twitched as blood pumped through it once more.

Satsuki waited until Ranmaru could look up at him. Staring directly at him, the blonde man fit the glasses around his face. Before he pushed them up, he smirked and said, “Until next time.”

With that, he pushed the glasses up until they rested comfortably on his face. Natsuki opened his eyes, blinking a few times at his surroundings. Ranmaru could recognize the switch happening again, much the same as it had before. Natsuki looked around the practice room, seeming confused at first, until he caught sight of the viola case. Then he smiled in recognition. 

Hearing Ranmaru’s still-panting breathing, Natsuki looked over in his direction. Surprised, he called out, “Oh! Ran-Chan! I didn’t know you were here. I was just…um…composing…” 

Natsuki gestured vaguely to the composition paper on the stand. He looked it over curiously, as if seeing it for the first time. Ranmaru straightened up gingerly, hiding a wince at the pain. 

“Yeah, I know,” he said between breaths. “I…heard.”

“Really?” Natsuki asked, smiling brightly. “Did you…like what you heard?”

In truth, Ranmaru had been moved by the piece. But he would never admit to that. Besides, it sounded like Natsuki was just asking for clarification that he had indeed been composing at all, confused as he was. 

“It was…alright…” Ranmaru offered, walking closer to his friend. 

Natsuki seemed disappointed with that. His face fell. “Oh, I see. Well maybe I better take another look at this then…”

Ranmaru shook his head. “Let’s talk first.”

Natsuki put down the composition paper. “Ok.” He looked Ranmaru up and down curiously. “Why are you out of breath, Ran-chan? Did you run here or something?”

Choosing not to remind the younger man that he had just had Ranmaru’s balls in a vice grip, the older man nodded. He took Natsuki’s hand and held it. Natsuki flinched at first, then smiled shyly. 

“I think,” Ranmaru began. “Um…I think there’s something you wanted to tell me.” 

The blonde man nodded. He turned his body to face Ranmaru’s. Standing there like that, the tension between them was obvious. Not to mention the fact that Ranmaru’s desire had not abated in the slightest. He wanted to run his hands all over Natsuki, kiss the bit of skin still peeking through his collar….

“I’ve…been thinking about that time, Ran-chan.” Natsuki pushed his glasses up and smiled fondly. “When I found you in the practice room.” 

“…Me too…” Ranmaru admitted.

Natsuki brightened. “You have? Well, um…anyway, I can’t help remembering how cute and sweet you were, cuddling up against me like that. I…want to see that side of you again, Ran-chan. If you’ll let me…” 

As he said the last part, Natsuki brought his hand up and stroked Ranmaru’s face gently. It was the opposite side that Satsuki had stroked, but it felt so similar that Ranmaru got chills. 

The older man nodded. He grabbed Natsuki’s hand and kissed his palm affectionately. “I’ll let you.” 

Natsuki’s entire face lit up. “Come here,” he said, wrapping an arm around Ranmaru’s shoulder and pulling him in.

Not needing any more invitation than that, the two started kissing each other. It was smooth at first, a gentle meeting of lips, almost like a quick exploration to make sure nothing had changed between them. Once that had been confirmed, they grabbed onto each other and kissed hard. Natsuki opened his mouth first, pushing Ranmaru’s open in the process. Slowly, little by little, Natsuki took control of the kiss, running his hands down Ranmaru’s back until they came to rest lightly on the curve of the older man’s ass.

When they finally pulled away, Ranmaru felt dizzy with desire. His knees were trembling with the want to drop down. He was hyper-aware of Natsuki’s hands cupping his backside. Natsuki’s green eyes were soft behind the glasses, but somehow just as piercing as Satsuki’s. Ranmaru kissed his way down Natsuki’s neck with a groan, feeling some tension trickle out of him as he gave into what had wanted for weeks.

The younger man giggled as his friend’s lips tickled the skin on his neck. “You’re such a gentle kisser, Ran-chan,” he said. “And your lips are so soft…”

With that, Natsuki squeezed a handful of Ranmaru’s pert ass. The older man moaned and lifted into the touch. In the process, his groin rubbed against Natsuki’s hip, making the two men gasp and grab onto each other harder. 

“You can tell me what to do,” Ranmaru said quietly, kissing his way up Natsuki’s face. He buried his nose in Natsuki’s curly hair, the familiar smell of him making his cock jump in excitement. “Tell me what you want, Natsuki, and I’ll do it.”

Natsuki giggled. “I have a few things in mind, Ran-chan. I’m sure you’ll like it, because you seem really excited right now.”

Ranmaru blushed as Natsuki ran his thumb along the zipper of his pants. He felt the boundaries between them melting away. Natsuki was just as upfront about what he wanted as Satsuki, and Ranmaru could not have been more grateful.

Resting his hands on the older man’s shoulders, Natsuki pushed down until his friend got the idea. Heart leaping happily, Ranmaru got onto his knees. 

Natsuki tangled his fingers in Ranmaru’s hair, combing and tugging until the older man’s nerve endings tingled. Without needing to be told, Ranmaru kissed the large bulge in Natsuki’s pants where his cock was, lips trembling with excitement to finally have some contact with this thing he had wanted for so long.

“Ah! Ran-chan!” Natsuki gasped, tugging on his friend’s hair. “I want you to put your mouth on me. Go ahead, do it, please…”

Before Natsuki had even finished asking, Ranmaru was opening his friend’s pants and underwear, reaching in to pull out Natsuki’s engorged member. Once that gorgeous cock was in his hand, Ranmaru knew exactly what to do. He just did what came naturally.

Eyeing its surprising length and width, Ranmaru pressed a reverent kiss to the tight flesh there. He knew right away that Natsuki’s dick was bigger than his, all around, and that thought drove him crazy. He wanted to do everything to this cock, he wanted it inside of him, he wanted to make it cum…

Licking a long strip up Natsuki’s dick, Ranmaru held onto his friend’s hips to hold him steady. Kissing and licking as much as he desired, Ranmaru finally wrapped his mouth around the member, moaning at how much it stretched his lips. He sucked once, mostly for taste, but he grinned when he heard Natsuki moan. Feeling that pulsing heat thick on his tongue, knowing it was getting Natsuki off…this was all almost too much.

“Oh, Ran-chan…” Natsuki moaned. “Your mouth is…so good…so soft… Your lips are so pretty around my cock…I can tell you like this.” 

Ranmaru moaned in confirmation. He swallowed around Natsuki, pushing the head all the way to the back of his throat. 

“Ah! Oh yes, Ran-chan. I want you to enjoy this too.” Natsuki grabbed one of Ranmaru’s hands and guided it towards Ranmaru’s body. “Touch yourself. Come on, do it for me.”

Hearing the direction, Ranmaru let himself moan. He was surprised at not being all that embarrassed to do this. Quite honestly, all of this felt very right. Not to mention the fact that he wanted to touch himself very much. So, he trailed his hand down his front until he reached the bulge in his own pants. He rubbed there until he could not take it anymore. Still sucking on Natsuki, Ranmaru opened his studded belt and reached into his pants. When he finally grabbed onto himself, he yelled in relief, almost letting Natsuki fall from his mouth.

“Ah, that’s it, Ran-chan…” Natsuki wrapped his thumb and forefinger around his own cock, guiding himself in and out of Ranmaru’s mouth so that his friend did not need to focus. All the older man needed to do was keep his mouth open and palm himself.

They stayed like this for a bit, Ranmaru losing himself to the amazing pleasure, Natsuki murmuring words of encouragement the entire time. Yet, Ranmaru knew something was missing. He could probably get off like this, sure, but he wanted to feel more of Natsuki…

Pulling away, Ranmaru broke off with a groan. “Ah, Natsuki…” he panted. “Fuck…I…I want more…"

Natsuki let go of his own cock with a smile. Giggling slightly, he knelt down, face to face with his friend. “I know, Ran-chan. I know what you want.” 

Grabbing onto the silver-haired man’s chin, Natsuki kissed him, letting his tongue taste what lingered in Ranmaru’s mouth. Gently, he pushed Ranmaru onto his back on the floor. For his part, the older man could remember a scenario similar to this… But that paled in comparison to the anticipation of the moment.

“I want to see you,” Natsuki whispered, undoing the buttons on Ranmaru’s shirt, running his fingers gently over all of the older man’s exposed skin. Ranmaru twitched and moaned, holding tightly onto Natsuki’s shoulders. Slowly, Natsuki removed all of Ranmaru’s clothes until the older man was laying there in only his boxer shorts.

The outline of his erection against the thin fabric left little to the imagination. Ranmaru blushed as Natsuki kissed his way down to his crotch, thumbing the thick bulge and smiling. He stared at Ranmaru like he was looking at something beautiful, something he had found in the garden.

“C-come on, Natsuki…” Ranmaru stuttered, feeling intensely hot under all of the passionate attention. “Just…”

Natsuki’s green eyes flicked upwards, glowing brightly with excitement. “Relax, Ran-chan,” he said. “I’ll give you what you want.” 

So, Ranmaru leaned back and let Natsuki take his time. He knew his boxers were becoming wet where the tip of his dick touched the fabric, and he knew Natsuki could see that. But he told himself it was fine…

Finally, Natsuki pulled down Ranmaru’s shorts. The older man lifted his hips to help the process along, blushing harder when he was completely naked. Somehow this was all more intimate than the last time…

Natsuki sighed happily. He ran his palms up Ranmaru’s thighs. “You’re so beautiful, Ran-chan. And your cock is so cute!” Giggling, he stroked Ranmaru’s straining erectionslowly. 

Ranmaru twitched, now very embarrassed. “Damn it, Natsuki…” he mumbled, hips grinding in time to Natsuki’s strokes. “…What’s so cute about it?”

At that, the younger man laughed. He stopped stroking and leaned down, covering Ranmaru’s body with his. “Everything,” he whispered happily into the silver-haired man’s ear. 

Deciding he did not care, Ranmaru wrapped his arms and legs around Natsuki. He wanted to keep the younger man there. And he wanted…well…how could he ask for it?

“Here,” Natsuki said, pulling away and grabbing Ranmaru’s hands. He pushed his friend’s hands underneath his knees, lifting Ranmaru’s legs upward until the older man was completely exposed. “Hold onto your legs so that I can get a good look at you.”

Ranmaru bit his lip, loving the feeling of being laid bare for Natsuki. He held onto his knees, spreading his legs apart so that Natsuki could fit his head in between. His heart was beating so fast, Ranmaru thought that his friend must have been able to hear it.

Looking down between his spread legs, Ranmaru watched and felt Natsuki kiss his wet dick lightly. He grunted, unused to the sensation. Smiling confidently, Natsuki covered the underside of Ranmaru’s cock with his wide tongue, licking slowly but putting a lot of pressure there.

Yelping in surprise and intense pleasure, Ranmaru’s body rocked back and forth. Natsuki’s tongue was very skilled, roaming all over his cock, lapping at the sensitive parts, pressing down on the veins that longed for contact. That gentle, knowing tongue soothed away any leftover hurt from when Satsuki had squeezed him too hard. It felt like such relief. Besides, Ranmaru had never been licked like this…well he had never been licked at all, but this…this was almost unreal.

The only point of contact between them was Natsuki’s tongue on his friend’s cock. Ranmaru felt a tightening in his stomach and ashamedly realized that he could come just from this, holding his legs apart, moaning at getting licked like a slut. 

“Natsuki…that’s…” 

Ranmaru wanted to warn his friend before he came, but then Natsuki’s tongue moved downward, past his balls, lapping confidently at Ranmaru’s exposed entrance.

Ranmaru yelled in surprise. Without any preamble, he came hard, streaming cum onto his stomach and chest. His whole body trembled as Natsuki’s insistent tongue pushed between his cheeks. 

It was over after a moment. Natsuki raised his head curiously, swallowing visibly. When he saw the cum that covered his older friend, the blonde haired boy’s face dissolved into regret.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you come so fast, I just thought…”

Panting, Ranmaru shook his head. “It’s…okay…it’s that…I never…”

Natsuki leaned down and kissed his cheek softly. “I see,” Natsuki murmured. “Well, don’t worry, Ran-chan. I still have more to give you…if you still want me…”

Ranmaru grabbed Natuski’s face and smiled. He felt insanely happy for a moment, looking into this man’s apologetic, still-excited face. “I still want you, Natsuki,” the older man confirmed.

How had any of this happened? Ranmaru was never one to chase after someone, to be overjoyed when someone was interested in him, when someone wanted to have sex with him…but now…Ranmaru felt incredibly lucky to have found someone like Natsuki who could shower him with all this attention.

After spending some time kissing briefly, Natsuki leaned back and took Ranmaru’s hands again. “Here, hold your legs open again, I want to try something.”

Ranmaru did as he was told. Just spreading his legs apart started to make him hard again. He watched Natsuki and pretended he was not covered in his own cum. Not surprisingly, Natsuki reached into his pocket and took out a familiar bottle of fingerboard oil. As soon as Ranmaru saw that bottle, he got fully hard.

Natsuki giggled. “You know what I want to do with this, right?”

Ranmaru bit his lip and nodded. “Hell yes,” he said, holding his legs up higher.

“Great.” 

So, Natsuki spread some of the oil onto his fingers making them slick. Looking at Ranmaru for reassurance, he pressed his lubed fingers against Ranmaru’s already wet hole. As those long fingers breached him again, the older man felt himself shaking and moaning, as if he were coming apart.

Natsuki’s fingers moved slowly in him, much more gentle than Satsuki had been. Still, the feeling of penetration was enough to drive Ranmaru wild. He grew impatient. With a growl, he sat up, wrapping his legs around Natsuki’s waist. 

“Oh, Ran-chan!” Natsuki gasped in surprise as the older man started biting and sucking on his exposed collarbones, pulling open his shirt buttons, ripping off his tie. Natsuki buried his fingers farther in Ranmaru’s ass as the silver-haired man tore off most of his friend’s clothes. Once he was naked to the waist, they needed to readjust, however.

“Alright,” Natsuki said, pushing down on Ranmaru’s chest to create some distance between them. He pulled out of the older man for a second to undo his pants.

Ranmaru sat and watched eagerly as Natsuki stepped out of his pants and underwear. They both smiled when Natsuki kneeled down again, naked this time, grabbing the fingerboard oil bottle. 

“Let me,” Ranmaru asked, taking the bottle out of his hand. 

Natsuki nodded as the older man spread oil on his fingers. The substance was slippery enough to be arousing on its own, and they were both sure they would never look at it the same way again. Once his fingers were slick, Ranmaru held Natsuki’s cock lightly in his hand, spreading the oil all over his thick member.

“Mmm, Ran-chan…” Natsuki said, hips twitching forward. “I can’t wait…to be inside you…mmm, oh yes…” 

Hearing that, Ranmaru figured they had waited long enough. He laid down on his back, holding himself open one more time. “Then fucking do it, damn it…” He grunted, almost angry with impatience, wanting to feel that thick cock in him.

“Alright, alright.” Natsuki put himself into position. “Just tell me if it’s too much.” 

Ranmaru wanted to assure him that it wouldn’t be too much, that this was what he had fantasized about for so long, but once he felt the tip pushing into his ass…well, the older man was not so sure. Natsuki’s dick was lubed, but still large and wide enough around that it stretched Ranmaru painfully. He grunted and winced, freezing up slightly at the unfamiliar sensation.

“It’s alright,” Natsuki said, he voice considerably thicker with the strain of holding himself back. “It won’t hurt for long, I promise. I’ve got you, Ran-chan…" 

Breathing evenly, Ranmaru listened to Natsuki’s words and forced himself to relax. He would let Natsuki have all the control, Natsuki would know what to do… 

Something occurred to the older man. Through gritted teeth he muttered, “You’ve done this before…"

Natsuki huffed once, a kind of laugh. “Yeah,” he said. “A few times. Have you?”

Ranmaru turned his head to the side. Of course, he had never done this before. All of it was new, but…how embarrassing would it be to admit that to his friend, his younger friend, his junior in both their careers and life. Still, at the moment Ranmaru realized how glad he was that Natsuki was more experienced. It meant he could trust him.

So, Ranmaru shook his head, admitting his own virginity.

Natsuki giggled. “That’s alright, Ran-chan. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry…” Natsuki kissed Ranmaru’s face and neck, any skin he could reach, until the older man actually laughed slightly in response. 

Brightening at Ranmaru’s small laugh, Natsuki asked, “So…can I move now?”

This time, the older man nodded. 

And so, Natsuki started to push in and out of his friend. He fucked him slowly at first, getting a feel for how much Ranmaru could take at once. The expressions and sounds that Ranmaru made told Natsuki when it was okay to go faster.

Once he had worked up a steady pace, Natsuki leaned in close. “Like that?” he asked.

Ranmaru nodded again, biting his lip. He could feel intense pleasure welling up inside of him, knowing that this was only going to get better if Natsuki kept on like that…

“Mmm, you feel amazing, Ran-chan…so good… Do you like the way this feels?” Natsuki’s eyes were shut tight in concentration. 

Staring at his friend through a haze of pleasure, Ranmaru said, “Yes, Natsuki, I like it…keep going…” 

They worked up a faster rhythm, Natsuki grabbing onto the backs of Ranmaru’s knees to drive into him at a better angle. With that change, Ranmaru felt the younger man slide right into his most sensitive spot, the place where he longed for contact. 

“Fuck!” Ranmaru called out, throwing his head back. “Right there! Natsuki, fuck me right there!” 

So, Natsuki, kept his body in the same position, thrusting into him faster. Ranmaru moaned, feeling his body light up from the inside. He knew he was going to come again, so soon…

“Touch me please, Natsuki, don’t stop fucking me…” Ranmaru groaned, feeling tears prick his eyes as his body sang.

Natsuki grabbed his friend’s cock and pumped him in time to his thrusts. Just a few more pulls and Ranmaru came with another scream, contracting around Natsuki’s wide dick. Watching and feeling the older man’s orgasm brought Natsuki right off with him. They rode out each other’s climaxes together. 

When it was done, Natsuki let go of Ranmaru’s legs and carefully pulled out. The silver-haired man grimaced as he felt the loss of contact, and also the mess of cum spilling out of him. Not a great feeling.

Natsuki collapsed on the floor next to him. He was breathing very heavily, his glasses slightly askew. “I…I came so hard, Ran-chan…that was incredible.”

Ranmaru nodded, unwilling to move even an inch. He agreed. And he had thoroughly exhausted himself. 

“It’s a good thing these practice rooms have sound mufflers…” Natsuki mused, rolling onto his side to stare at the older man. “I think you might have gotten a little loud there, Ran-chan…”

Blushing fiercely, he sat up like a shot. “No I—” But he knew it was true. “…Alright, just…” 

Natsuki laughed a full, overjoyed laugh. “I’m just kidding,” he said. “Don’t worry, Ran-chan. I love the sounds you make.”

With that, the younger man sat up and kissed his addled friend’s shoulder. Ranmaru decided he would give up on this one. His throat hurt for a reason, after all.

They laid back down together, stroking each other’s skin contemplatively.

“I think I might need a nap before we head back to the dorms,” Natsuki admitted.

Just then Ranmaru realized they would have to leave each other. The thought turned his stomach. “Yeah, let’s crash here for a bit,” he offered. 

Natsuki nodded with a smile, rolling onto his back. As a matter of habit, the younger man took off his glasses and laid them down next to his head.  Momentarily shocked, Ranmaru watched the switch apprehensively. Would Satsuki be pleased with what had happened between him and Natsuki…?

Running a hand through his mussed hair, Satsuki turned onto his side to stare at Ranmaru. A silver bolt ran through the older man as he stared into those intense green eyes.

Then, Satsuki raised a hand and patted the side of Ranmaru’s face. He was smiling, an actual smile for once, not a grin or a smug smirk.

“Good boy,” Satsuki muttered. 

After that, Satsuki laid his head down on Ranmaru’s shoulder, burying his face in the curve of the older man’s arm. Within a minute, the blonde was fast asleep. Ranmaru watched the man sleep. He ran a hand through that blonde, curly hair affectionately. He did not even realize he was smiling.

Well. Somehow, after everything, he had managed to satisfy two personalities in one night.

 

  

 

 

…For now, anyway.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Long smut. So long. So smut. Very wow. 
> 
> I have more ideas for these two (three?) so I expect this series will have a few more stories coming up. Stay posted if you like!


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